And the unspoken knowledge of this seemed to dim their customary greeting that night, as Kris's smile was not quite as bright as usual when he answered the door, and Adam himself was clearly out of sorts since it took him a minute to realize that Kris wore nothing but one of the long white bathrobes the hotel provided, to which Adam heard himself say uncharacteristically "Oh, were you getting ready for bed? I'm sorry, I can leave."
"No no," Kris said, settling down on the bed and patting the space next to him with his hand. "I'm not sleepy. Not even the shower helped," he said a little wryly as Adam came up to him and sat next to him, drew his arm around Kris's neck as he always did when they were alone together, and Kris lay his head on Adam's shoulder with a sigh, closed his eyes.
"I know," Adam said after a moment, sort of running his jaw over Kris's shower-wet hair.
Kris said nothing to that, only pressed his face into Adam's shoulder, sighed again as Adam drew his other arm around Kris's waist.
But after some time had passed Kris gently extricated himself from Adam's hold, and said as he glanced down at the flocked bedspread "I can't do this anymore."
"I know," Adam replied, closing his eyes and trying to dismiss the cold space that had replaced the solid warmth of Kris's form. "I understand."
"That's not what I mean," Kris said now in a low voice, raising his eyes to Adam's with a wide-blown stare that made Adam start back a little. "I mean I can't just--I can't just sit here and hug you like that anymore, and not--Well, screw it."
"What are you....Oh my God," Adam groaned when Kris suddenly unbelted his bathrobe, then peeled it off right in front of Adam--and for a moment Adam thought he was on the verge of fainting as his eyes took in the almost heartbreaking perfection of Kris's body that he never thought he'd ever see in this lifetime, before Kris climbed into Adam's lap and clung to him like a cat in a tree, waiting to be rescued.
And right then all the questions, all the doubts, all the knowledge that this was wrong flew right out the window as Kris's solid form pressed against Adam's, and Adam buried his face into Kris's hot neck while his greedy hands pawed at Kris's body--as something beyond logic took over him at the feel, the taste, the reality of Kris's skin beneath his mouth and yes, he was kissing Kris's neck now, wet sloppy kisses interspersed with licking and sucking so that Adam's cheek was streaked with his own saliva when he pressed his face into Kris's neck again at the sound of Kris's soft sighs because it was too much, it was too much, and too sudden for Adam's mind to grasp and he needed to....he needed to breathe. Except instead of doing so he lifted his head from Kris's neck, cradled Kris's drugged-looking face in his hands, and kissed that fucking mouth that had fucked with his head since November of the year before.
There are occasionally times in life where everything comes together: where all the threads of one's existence suddenly pull into a complete tapestry, despite the fact that just moments before they seemed nothing but a bunch of loose ends that had nothing to do with each other. And it was like that as Kris wrapped his arms around Adam's neck and pulled him into the kiss, as they lay down on the bed and made out as though everything since last November had been working toward this point, and suddenly it did not matter how wrong this was since it felt so fucking right, just felt right to have Kris in his arms while he kissed the living breath out of Kris and Kris kissed him back with equal ferocity, those warm red lips sliding over Adam's with a passion Adam had hardly imagined Kris was capable of, as those dark drowsy eyes gazed into his own when they parted for a moment to just stare at each other with the wonder of it all and that was it: Adam didn't give a fuck anymore since this was just where he belonged, just where he had to be, needed to be, so that when Kris's shaking fingers began tugging at Adam's clothing and Kris's cock pressed into his thigh Adam lowered his head and whispered against Kris's cheek "I need to fuck you, Kris. Right now. Because I think I'll die if I don't."
To this Adam only received in response a small feral growl as Kris planted his lips on Adam's neck and dug his fingers into Adam's spine, and the momentum that had carried them thus far did not stop even as Adam paused to finally undress himself and align his body with Kris's, though the sensation of their flesh coming together at last forced them both to grow still for a moment in order to savor it with small breathless groans, before Adam's mouth found Kris's once more and kissed him with a dizziness he had never experienced before in his life, as though there was no tomorrow after today and there had never been a yesterday and nothing mattered at all except for this: to have Kris in his arms as though he were born to be there, and at one point they both broke the kiss to smile against each other's lips, their gaze bright and giddy as they looked into each other's eyes because the miracle had happened and they were one now, the same being, the same soul and Adam knew it was going to be okay, it was going to be all right; it was fine.
It was just fine, for Adam to take Kris's gorgeous cock in his mouth as he slowly inserted his spit-slicked fingers into Kris; it was just fine, for Kris to moan and clutch Adam's hair and shove himself deeper down Adam's throat as Adam got him ready; it was just fine for Adam to finally, finally, oh ever so slowly but so very deliciously ease himself into Kris, watching Kris's face draw into faint surprise at first, then clench a little with discomfort, before his eyes closed and his mouth dropped open when Adam's cock found Kris's special spot and Adam was able to bestow upon Kris his first experience of unalloyed ecstasy.
And it was just fine, because the way Kris responded--the way he wrapped his legs around Adam's waist, the way he arched his spine as though to take in more despite the peripheral discomfort he must be feeling--the way his eyes darkened as though drugged, his face slackening as though he were immersed in a wonderland of dreams, the hungry sounds he made as Adam fucked him--all of it told Adam that there was no fucking way in hell this wasn't going to happen again, there was no fucking way Kris wouldn't want this again and it better be true because God, Adam could not imagine a future where he did not get to do this with Kris a thousand times over, God would not be so cruel as to give this to Adam only to snatch it away again, especially oh God when Kris came at last, when Adam was able to draw from Kris the indubitable evidence of his joy all over his belly and Adam's, and with a final open-mouthed kiss on Kris's abused lips Adam let come to an end the longest journey he'd ever taken in his life, a journey that had taken him beyond the borders of where he'd ever expected to go, or dared dream of.
For a long time afterward they didn't stir, Adam merely lying on top of Kris's body as his cock grew soft within Kris, Kris's arms around Adam's neck solid but unmoving, their faces pressed together but neither of them uttering a breath, as the soft silence of the room filled with the noiseless ticking of time's inexorable march, because outside of the bubble of this room--outside of this bubble where, for a brief time, time had ceased to live, there lived the world, and the future, and all that went with it.
And right then Adam only wished for one thing, which was to encase that bubble in lucite, freeze it in its perfect form forever, so as to never be popped by time's careless hand. But since he knew that could not be, that the world outside waited for them, he merely gifted himself with one last illusion of permanence, and held the breath he realized he'd meant to release an hour and a lifetime ago, but never did.